In this episode, hosts Alan and Susan interview licensed therapist, Scott Bonk, M.S., LMFT, about seeking help when your relationship needs it. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. The episode starts with a brief overview of Scott’s background and his nearly three decades of being a counselor. Alan and Susan discuss the concept of having some individual passions as well as shared ones. As the conversation evolves, the trio hits topics of communication, intentionality, connection and nurturing. All of the above require constant work and dedication.
Therapist Scott Bonk believes we need to feed our relationships as often as we feed ourselves. Plus, if we put nothing but junk food in our bodies, we are not going to have a healthy body. The same applies to relationships. Scott is also a big proponent for changing settings from time-to-time to create a sense of adventure. Date nights out are great, but maybe schedule an overnight stay somewhere once a quarter.
Love Language and Intimacy
Alan and Susan then recount the Love Language knowledge they gained from knowing each other’s Do’s and Don’ts. The conversation evolves to cover intimacy and sex. Scott points out that women need to feel love and connection, which leads to intimacy, whereas men are wired the opposite. Men will often let the intimacy lead to feelings of love. So, why are we wired totally different? Scott believes it is so we will be forced to communicate with each other.
But, counselors are not miracle workers. If either person in a relationship does not have a willingness to grow or change, the relationship will shrivel. A good counselor will be honest with you and not keep you in a no-win situation. The sooner issues can be addressed together, the better off couples will be. It’s an ongoing continuum requiring constant attention. But, as Scott says, life is supposed to be fun and if you are willing to grow individually, you will grow in your relationship. It’s important to be vigilant for when complacency starts to set in, which can lead to taking your partner for granted.
The episode ends with Scott Bonk saying he would be willing to help anyone find the right resource if you reach out to him. He has a website and does serve clients throughout NW Georgia.
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